The YuGiOh! Gang Meets the Three Stooges!
by Yoru no Kuronue
Summary: The Three Stooges become trapped in the YuGiOh! World! Includes talking statues, Tristan as a poodle, and gorillas, as well as Yami Malik's return, Kaiba versus a British gorilla in chess, and Larry hair for Joey! And a mean Tea. YAY!


The Yu-Gi-Oh! Gang Meets the Three Stooges  
Scene One  
(Moe, Larry, and Curly have won a trip to Egypt. They are exploring the  
Nameless Pharoah's Pyramid. Curly has been separated from the other two. He  
sees a statue of an Egyptian priest.)  
Curly: Well, lookee here! Hey mista, have you seen my chums?  
(Silence.)  
Curly: Well, there's no need to be rude! Take that!  
(Slaps the statue on the head.)  
Statue: They are in the next room.  
Curly: Nya-a-a-a-ah!  
(Runs, sees Moe and Larry at end of hallway.)  
Curly: Hey fellas! Fellas! The statue talked!  
Moe: You numbskull! Statues don't talk!  
(Slaps Curly.)  
Moe: Get a hold of yourself!  
Larry: Maybe there was some gold in that room!  
Moe: All right, let's check it out.  
Curly: Ohhhhhhhhh no. I'm not going back in there.  
Moe: Here, this'll help.  
(Grabs Curly's nose and drags him into Statue Room. Start snooping around.  
Statue bonks Moe on the head from behind.)  
Moe: Hey! Whatja do that for?  
(Bonks Larry.)  
Larry: I didn't do anything!  
Curly: No, he didn't do anything!  
(Moe slaps Curly.)  
Moe: Oh, a wise guy, eh?  
Statue: No, I'm the wise guy! You are all dummies.  
(Stooges slowly turn around and look at Statue.)  
Three Stooges: Nya-a-a-a-ah!  
(Start to run, Curly trips over a statue dog.)  
Dog: Hey, watch it!  
Curly: Soitanly! Nyuk nyuk nyuk! Whoah! Wait a minute! You're a dog! Ruff!  
Dog: Ruff!!!  
Curly: Nya-a-a-ah!  
(Floor starts shaking. Suddenly opens up, all Three Stooges slide down a  
chute.)  
(In Domino City. Yugi and friends are walking down the street.)  
Yugi: Hey Joey, what did you do to get such a long detention?  
Joey: Ahhh, that stupid teachah's got it in fah me.  
Triston: Actually, you were shooting spitballs.  
Tea: Joey, you are an idiot.  
Joey: Don't tell me you're takin' that teachah's side!  
Ryou: Joey, you must become more disciplined.  
Joey: What's disci-whatever?  
Bakura: It means you're stupid.  
Ryou: (Rolls eyes.) No, it means you must conduct yourself in a more  
civilized manner.  
Joey and Bakura: Huh?  
(A voice comes from a hidden place.)  
Voice #1: If it is farther you wish to go...  
Voice #2: Then it's up to us to start the show!  
(Two men leap from high windows. They do flips and land right in front of  
the gang.)  
Para: We have the element of surprise...  
Dox: And from your faces we surmise...  
Para: That you were not expecting us...  
Dox: You are ready to duel, we trust?  
Joey: Oh no, it's those freakazoids, the Paradox Brothers!  
Para: You beat us long long ago...  
Dox: But now we are even stronger so...  
Para: We will have another match!  
Dox: But alas, there is a catch.  
Para: There are two of us and six of you...  
Dox: That would be unfair, it's true.  
Joey: Will ya both stop talkin' in rhyme? You're makin' my head hurt!  
Para: Such a simpleton you are...  
Dox: Not as smart as we, by far!  
Joey: AGGGGGGGHHHH! STOP IT!  
Para: Who shall be our opponents, then?  
Dox: Choose now, the sooner we can win!  
Tea: Hey guys, what's that?  
(Points at the sky. Everyone looks up. Three Stooges fall onto the ground  
in a heap. Slowly get up.)  
Curly: Hey, Moe, we're in color! Nyuk nyuk nyuk!  
Moe: So is this!  
(Pokes him in both eyes. Curly lifts his hand up and makes Moe's eyes  
follow it. Larry looks at himself.)  
Larry: Hey, he's not kiddin'! We're in color!  
Joey: Hey, who are you guys?  
Larry: We were wondering the same about you! This is still Egypt, isn't it?  
Para: Then these are your chosen three...  
Dox: To defeat them will be easy!  
Yugi: Wait a minute! These guys aren't duelists!  
Joey: Yeah! If you duel any of us, it's gonna be me, Joey Wheelah!  
Yugi: And me!  
Para: And as brothers we will fight...  
Dox: And defeat you, all right!  
Four Duelists: Let's duel!  
(Duel disks are pulled out, 2000 appears on each one's Life Meter.)  
Curly: What's goin' on?  
Tea: You don't know?  
Curly: Come on lady! We're just victims of soicumstance! Nyuk nyuk nyuk!  
Tea: They're dueling. They beat the Paradox Brothers in a duel a long time  
ago, and now they have to again.  
Moe: Huh?  
Triston: You idiot! Don't you know anything?  
Ryou: Triston, they may not know of the technical procedure for Duel  
Monsters.  
Three Stooges (and Bakura): Huh?  
Bakura: Ok. See the short dude and the blonde? They're playing a game with  
cards against the bald dudes.  
Three Stooges: Ohhhhhh! A card game!  
Curly: What kinda cards?  
Bakura: Cards with monsters.  
Three Stooges: Nya-a-a-a-ah! Monsters!  
Moe: (Slaps other two.) Knock it off!  
(Three Stooges walk onto the playing field.)  
Yugi: YU-GI-OH!  
(Changes into Yami Yugi.)  
Yami Yugi: I'll go first! I play Destroyer Golem in attack mode!  
(Destroyer Golem appears. Three Stooges run around in circles.)  
Curly: Wub-b-b-b-b-b! It's humongous!  
Yami Yugi: I also place one card face-down, and end my turn.  
Joey: My turn! I play Swamp Battleguard in attack mode!  
(Swamp Battleguard appears.)  
Para: You fools! I play Wicked Worm Beast in Attack mode!  
(Wicked Worm Beast appears.)  
Para: This card returns to my hand at the end of this turn! It is too fast  
for you! Now observe! I play the trap card DNA Surgery! It allows me to  
change my monster's type to any I choose! I change it to Warrior! And now I  
play the magic card Sogen! It increases my monster's attack points by 200!  
(Wicked Worm Beast's attack becomes 1600.)  
Para: Wicked Worm Beast! Destroy Yugi's monster!  
Yami Yugi: (Thinking.) I can't use my face-down card yet! I'll have to let  
it destroy my Golem.  
(Wicked Worm Beast destroys Destroyer Golem. Yami Yugi's Life Points drop  
to 1900. Wicked Worm Beast returns to Para's hand.)  
Dox: Well done, Brother!  
Para: Thank you Brother!  
Larry: Is that bad?  
Ryou: In a matter of speaking, depending on which team you would prefer to  
be the victor in this particular duel.  
Bakura: Without Ryou-babble, yep.  
Dox: I play Dark Assailant in attack mode!  
(Dark Assailant appears.)  
Curly: Whoah! What's that?  
Larry: It's a skeleton!  
Moe: I'll skeleton you!  
(Hits both Larry and Curly.)  
Curly: But Moe! Look!  
(Moe turns and sees Dark Assailant. All three start running around in  
circles again.)  
Bakura: It's not real, you dingleberries!  
Dox: I also place this card face-down and end my turn!  
Yami Yugi: I summon Kojikocy!  
(Kojikocy appears.)  
Yami Yugi: I end my turn.  
Joey: What? But your monster's stronger than that freak's!  
Yami Yugi: I'm not worried about the monster. I'm worried about his face  
down card, Joey.  
Joey: I place this card face-down, and attack with Swamp Battleguard!  
(Swamp Battleguard attacks.)  
Dox: Ha! You fool! You have fallen into my...  
(Stops as Swamp Battleguard catches Curly on it's way to attacking Dark  
Assailant. Curly falls and hits the face down card, causing it to revolve.  
Joey now sees that the card is Trap Hole.)  
Joey: I knew you were up ta somethin', Chrome-dome! My face-down card is  
Trap-Mastah! Go!  
(The Trap Master card destroys the Trap Hole, and Swamp Battleguard  
destroys Dark Assailant. Dox's Life Points go down to 1400. Curly gets up.)  
Joey: Hey, thanks man!  
Curly: Anytime! Nyuk nyuk nyuk  
Para: That buffoon got in the way...  
Dox: But now it's time for you to pay!  
Para: My move! I draw. Aha! I play Shadow Ghoul!  
(Shadow Ghoul appears.)  
Larry: It's a giant bug! I gotta squash it!  
(Larry runs over and attempts to step on Shadow Ghoul. It suddenly turns  
and attacks Para. His Life Points drop to 1500.)  
Para: What have you done to my creature?  
Larry: Oh no! It's attacking the bald man! I'll save you!  
(Runs over and starts stepping on Shadow Ghoul again. It attacks Dox and  
subtracts his Life Points to 900.)  
Dox: You fool! You are confusing our monster!  
Larry: Your monster? Oh, why didn't you say so?  
(Walks away.)  
Joey: And people think I'm stupid.  
Ryou: That was a deplorable act of ignorance, attempting to step on that  
holographic speciman.  
Bakura: In English, you're a moron.  
Moe: Oh yeah?  
Bakura: Yeah!  
Everyone else: *sweatdrop*  
Moe: All right! I'll moidah ya!  
Bakura: Bring it.  
Tea: Stop it both of you! We are all friends to the end, and must never  
separate! We're supposed to always be there for each other, and never fight  
when one of our friends needs our support!  
Curly: That *sniff* was so *sniff sniff* beautiful!  
(Starts sobbing. Moe slaps him.)  
Moe: Snap out of it!  
Tea: Stop hitting him! Aren't you guys friends?  
Moe: We're chums!  
Tea: Then you shouldn't hurt each other! Pain is what you go through  
together, not what you inflict on each other!  
Moe: Oh, okay.  
(Walks directly into Yami Yugi's face-down card, which flips up, exposing  
Dark Hole. Shadow Ghoul, Kojikocy, Swamp Battleguard, and Trap Master are  
all destroyed. Yami Yugi totally loses it.)  
Yami Yugi: YOU IDIOT! I WAS SAVING THAT FOR WHEN WE NEEDED IT! GET OFF THE  
FIELD ALL OF YOU! YOU HAVE RUINED THE DUEL!  
Moe: Sheesh, I'm sorry.  
(Three Stooges get in a huddle.)  
Curly: Gee, Moe, you ruined the game!  
Moe: I know. And now we gotta fix it.  
Larry: But how?  
Para: That fool has destroyed our only chance...  
Dox: So now with loss he will dance!  
Curly: Not so fast!  
(Three Stooges go over to the Paradox Brothers, and wave their hands in  
front of the Brothers' faces, making them follow the hands. When the hands  
go down, Curly hits Moe's hand. Moe's hand comes around and hits Dox on the  
head. Moe does an Eye-Poke to Para. Both brothers lose 1000 Life Points.)  
Dox: My Brother! I don't know how, but I have lost!  
Para: I see! And I shall lose now soon!  
Yami Yugi: Since Dox is done, it's my move! I summon Dark Magician!  
(Dark Magician appears.)  
Yami Yugi: Attack Para directly!  
(Dark Magician attacks. Para loses all of his Life Points.)  
Joey: We've nevah won like that befoah.  
Yami Yugi: Yes, that is true.  
Para: You have not seen the last of us!  
(Para and Dox leap out of sight. The Yu-Gi-Oh gang gathers around the  
Stooges.)  
Ryou: We demand an explanation for your distasteful and eccentric behavior!  
Three Stooges: Huh?  
Bakura: How did you do all that?  
Moe: All what?  
Yami Yugi: Those monsters are holograms. But you were able to touch them.  
How?  
Curly: They're not hollow to me! Nyuk nyuk nyuk!  
Larry: Hey Moe, there's something sticking in my pants!  
Moe: Well, get it out, numbskull!  
(Larry reaches in his pants and pulls out a large key.)  
Moe: (Grabs Larry's hair.) Haven't I told you about taking things that  
don't belong to you?  
Bakura: Hey, that's my job!  
Ryou: Cease your uncivilized prattling, Bakura!  
Bakura: Oh, shut up.  
Moe: (Slaps Larry.) Gimme that!  
Tea: That's it! I've had enough of your meanness!  
(She slaps Moe. He starts walking like he's dizzy.)  
Ryou: Tea, that was unseemly and uncalled for.  
Tea: Oh, shut up.  
Yami Yugi: That key... I recognize it. It's the Pharoah's Key.  
(All look at him.)  
Yami Yugi: No wonder you were able to touch the monsters. That key is the  
link between reality and the unreal.  
Triston: What's that supposed to mean?  
Ryou: It is obvious to me that the key enables its holder to walk between  
the holographic imaging and the real duel.  
Three Stooges: Huh?  
Bakura: Ryou, speak English.  
Yami Yugi: Until we find a lock for the key, you are trapped in our world.  
Three Stooges: Nya-a-a-a-a-a-a-ah!  
(Start bumping into each other as they try to run.)  
Curly: Wu-b-b-b-b-b!  
Scene Two  
Yami Yugi: In our world, there is a strange pyramid known only as the  
Nameless Pharoah's Pyramid. In other words, my pyramid.  
Curly: Well, then, if the name of the Pyramid is the Nameless Pharoah's  
Pyramid, then your name must be Nameless! Nyuk nyuk nyuk!  
Moe: (Slaps Curly.) Remind me to moidah you later.  
Tea: (Slaps Moe.) Remind me to moidah you later. (Pauses.) Why did I do  
that?  
Ryou: It seems quite obvious that these Three Stooges are having a negative  
influence upon you, resulting in your behavior patterns changing into exact  
replicas of theirs.  
Joey: (Shrugs.) I kinda like the new Tea.  
Tea: (Pulls Joey's hair.) Shut up!  
Bakura: Tea's turning to the Dark Side. Heeheehee...  
Yami Yugi: Let us stop this bickering and go to the Pyramid. Perhaps there  
we shall find what we are looking for.  
(The gang and the Three Stooges are now on the plane to Egypt.)  
Yugi: I'm Baaaaaack!  
Triston: And you were doing what while you outside your body?  
Yugi: Invading Starbucks! WHEEEEEE!  
Bakura: Are we there yet?  
Curly: (Singing.) I'm flying! Yada deeee! Yada deeee!  
Larry: Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep!  
Bakura: Are we there yet?  
(Stewardess comes, offering drinks. Curly gets a pop and promptly spills it  
on Moe.)  
Moe: Oh, Curly! You got me all wet! What a shame.  
(Offers Curly a napkin to wipe the pop off of his shirt.)  
Moe: Oh! You missed a spot!  
Curly: Where?  
Moe: Right here!  
(Gives Curly an Eye-poke and a bonk on the head.)  
(Tea bonks Joey on the head.)  
Joey: What'd I do?  
Tea: I can't reach Moe.  
Bakura: Are we there yet?  
(Passenger in front of Joey turns around. Joey nearly falls out of his  
chair.)  
Kaiba: I am embarrassed to be on the same plane as you nitwits.  
Moe: Hey! Nitiwit's my word!  
Bakura: Are we there yet?  
Ryou: No! Cease your infernal questions of our whereabouts!  
Bakura: So are we there yet?  
Kaiba: Who are those three idiots? And where's Mokuba?  
(Turns to see Mokuba sitting on Curly's lap, listening to jokes.)  
Mokuba: Big Brother! It's the Three Stooges!  
Kaiba: I don't believe this. Is it possible to be more embarrassed than  
this?  
Joey: How 'bout you be embarrassed when I bash your face in, Kaiba?  
Kaiba: Bring it on, Wheeler.  
Joey: That's Mistah Wheelah to you, bub!  
Tea: Knock it off, right now, you numbskulls!  
Kaiba: Numbskulls? What kind of nonsense are you babbling now? I'm the  
smartest person in the world! And Mokuba will follow in my footsteps to be  
the greatest Kaiba EVER! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
Mokuba: HAHAHAHAHAHA! *belch*  
Kaiba: *anime fallover*  
Scene Three  
(The plane has landed in Egypt. The group is walking along the streets,  
trying to ignore a paranoid Kaiba.)  
Kaiba: Quit stalking me, you weirdos!  
Ryou: For the final time, Kaiba, we are going to the exact location of your  
business meeting, and we are not stalking you.  
Bakura: Ryou almost spoke English. Novel concept.  
Ryou: Desist prattling in your revolting ways, Bakura.  
Bakura: Never mind.  
(A bus comes driving down the road. The door opens to reveal...)  
Joey: Mai!  
Mai: Hey guys. Get in. I've been asked to take you to a great Pharoah, who  
really wants to meet you.  
(Joey's eyes travel down from Mai's, landing on the very low neckline of  
her shirt.)  
Joey: Ok.  
(Everybody gets on.)  
Mai: Hey, he's really cute.  
Joey: (Blushing.) Ah, well, I...  
(Mai starts flirting with Curly.)  
Mai: Hey handsome, what's your name?  
Curly: (Blushing.) Curly. What's yours?  
Mai: My name's Mai.  
Curly: My what?  
Mai: Mai Valentine.  
Curly: Oh yeah, you can be my valentine.  
Mai: No, my name is Mai. M-a-i. Mai.  
Curly: Ruff!  
(Joey is steaming mad. Looks over and sees Tea ready to bonk him.)  
Joey: Nya-a-a-a-ah!  
Larry: Don't worry, buddy. Curly'll drive her crazy, and she'll be back.  
(Mai gets in the driver's seat, and begins to drive the bus.)  
Mokuba: Seto, why are you wearing a bag over your head?  
Kaiba: (Voice muffled by paper bag.) This is too embarrassing.  
(Yami Yugi takes over Yugi's body.)  
Yami Yugi: Ryou, who do you think this mysterious Pharoah is?  
Ryou: I haven't an inkling.  
Yami Yugi: Do you think he could be like me?  
Ryou: If you mean as ancient as you are, it is quite possible.  
Yami Yugi: Hmmmm.  
Mai: Hey, a hitchhiker!  
(A young man standing by the side of the road is holding out his thumb. Mai  
stops and he gets in. Everybody sees who it is.)  
Marik: Oh no. Oh nonono. I'm leaving.  
Bakura: MARIK-CHAN!  
(Jumps up and hugs Marik around the neck tightly.)  
Marik: Whoah! Hello!  
Bakura: Where ya been!?!  
Marik: Bakura...you're choking me...  
Bakura: Sorry.  
Mai: So where ya headed?  
Marik: Doesn't matter.  
Kaiba: I don't believe you. I don't think it's a coincedence that you're  
here, Marik.  
Marik: Ummm...I just need a ride.  
(Suddenly a huge sandstorm envelopes the bus.)  
Joey: (Freaking out.) OH MY GOD IT'S A SANDSTORM WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!  
Tea: Oh. Really. Does it start like this? (Hits Joey.)  
Joey: Ow. No.  
Three Stooges: Nya-a-a-a-ah! Wub-b-b-b-b-b!  
Kaiba: (Pulls bag harder down on his head.) I am not here. I will not be  
seen with these fools.  
(Sandstorm finally ends, and the bus is in front of a huge pyramid.)  
Curly: Oh look! A house!  
Larry: Who lives there?  
Moe: You numbskulls. Mummies live there. It's a mummy house.  
Larry: Naw. My mummy's back in Joisey.  
Moe: Oh is that right?  
(Before he bonks Larry, he feels Tea glaring at him. He looks at her, and  
he is so scared that the front of his hair stands up.)  
Moe: Nya-a-a-a-a-ah!  
Yami Yugi: Is everybody all right?  
Mokuba: I think something's wrong with Marik.  
Bakura: Nothing's wrong with Marik. I'm holding him.  
Marik: Can't...breathe...  
Ryou: Bakura, unhand Marik. Now.  
Bakura: NO!  
Ryou: Do you wish for him to suffocate?  
Bakura: Fine. (Lets go.) Feel better, Marik-chan?  
Marik: Um, yeah. Now stay away from me.  
(The gang hears a metallic voice.)  
Voice: Everyone's all right but me!  
(Everyone looks down to see a robot poodle, instead of Triston.)  
Curly: (Picks it up.) Oh, a toy poodle! Nyuk nyuk nyuk!  
Triston: Woof! I can't believe this is happening again!  
Mai: Oh, Curly, you are so fine with a poodle!  
Curly: Awww shucks! Nyuk nyuk nyuk!  
(The gang goes into the Pyramid.)  
Larry: Isn't this the same Pyramid we were in back in our world?  
Yami Yugi: All right. We split up and find the lock. The Three Stooges will  
come with me, along with Tea and Kaiba. Marik, Ryou, Bakura, Joey and Mai  
will go the other direction.  
Triston: Hey, what about me? Woof!  
Yami Yugi: Triston, you go with Joey and his group.  
Triston: Woof woof!  
Mai: I want to go with Curly!  
Curly: Soitanly, Toots! Nyuk nyuk nyuk!  
Yami Yugi: Ok, Kaiba, you go with Joey's group. Mai can come with us.  
Joey: Hey, no faih!  
Marik: Why am I stuck with Bakura?  
Bakura: Marik-chan, you're gonna be so happy!  
Marik: *sweatdrop*  
Mokuba: I'm going with Curly!  
Kaiba: WHAT?  
Yami Yugi: Um, ok.  
Kaiba: Mokuba, what about me?  
Mokuba: I'll go with you next time.  
Kaiba: I don't believe this.  
(Joey's group goes to the left and enters a room.)  
Joey: The sooner we get rid a' those Stooges the bettah!  
Kaiba: Actually, you're all stooges.  
Joey: And after I get rid a' the Stooges I'll work on you!  
Ryou: You are simply in a rage because Mai does not prefer you to Curly.  
Joey: Nobody said that!  
Triston: Right, Joey. Woof!  
Bakura: I'm lucky. I have Marik-chan.  
Marik: Since when?  
Ryou: Hey guys, what is that?  
(The group gathers around a lock set in a wall.)  
Joey: Hey, isn't that where you put a key when you wanna get somewhere?  
Marik: We don't have a key.  
Kaiba: I'll pick the lock.  
Marik: With what?  
Kaiba: (Pulls out a Sears credit card.) With this.  
Ryou: You, Kaiba, spend your millions at Sears?  
Kaiba: Well, where else do you think I get my awesome style?  
Bakura: Don't worry, Marik-chan, I'll protect you from whatever is behind  
that door.  
Marik: (Rolls eyes.) Whatever.  
(Kaiba picks the lock. The door opens into a room.)  
Joey: Holy guacamole! Big monkeys!  
(Two gorillas are sitting at a table, smoking pipes and playing chess.)  
Kaiba: Yeah, Joey, they're probably your relatives.  
Gorilla #1: (With a British accent.) I say, old chap, we're the  
sophisticated ones. The ruffians are behind you.  
(A gorilla appears from the back and grabs Marik.)  
Marik: Hey! Let go!  
Bakura: Marik-chan! Let go of him you big ugly excuse for a monkey!  
(Another gorilla grabs Bakura and carries him off with Marik.)  
Gorilla #2: Seize the others as well.  
Kaiba: Wait a minute!  
Gorilla #1: What?  
Kaiba: I'm Seto Kaiba, the president of KaibaCorp, and I challenge you to a  
game of chess!  
Gorilla #2: What for?  
Kaiba: If I win, you don't grab me. If I lose you get me. Deal?  
Gorilla #1: What about your friends?  
Ryou: Yes, what about us?  
Kaiba: Do whatever you want with them.  
Joey, Ryou, Triston: WHAT?  
Gorilla #2: I'm afraid you must play for them as well.  
Kaiba: Why?  
Gorilla #1: It is only fair.  
Kaiba: Fine.  
(Yami Yugi and his group are on the other side of the Pyramid. They are  
completely lost.)  
Tea: I knew this would happen if we brought him along!  
Moe: Me? Why me?  
Tea: I don't want to blame Yami.  
Yami Yugi: Be quiet both of you! I need to concentrate on finding where we  
are!  
(Curly opens a coffin and sees a mummy.)  
Curly: NYAH!  
Yami Yugi: (Comes in the room.) What is it?  
Curly: A mummy!  
Yami Yugi: Yes, that is the mummy of my late father, King Rutentuten.  
Larry: Yeah, I remember studying about King Rootin Tootin.  
(Moe opens a door. He sees a couple of guys playing cards. One has a  
crocodile head, and one has a falcon head.)  
Moe: Wh-wh-wh-what is that?  
(Larry and Curly come over.)  
Croc Head: Go away, kids, ya bothah me.  
All Three: Nyah-a-a-a-a-ah! (Run away.)  
Mai: Oooo! A card game! Deal me in!  
(Begins to play with them and the door closes. Three Stooges have run away  
and gotten lost. Yami Yugi and Tea are trying to find the others.)  
Curly: Hey! Where'd everybody go?  
(Feels around in the dark until he feels something come up beside him.)  
Curly: Oh hey, Moe!  
(Moe is beside Curly. Moe feels breath on his neck.)  
Moe: Stop breathing on my neck!  
Curly: I'm not, I'm over here!  
Larry: Oh, hold on while I light a match.  
(Lights a match. Sees a gorilla behind Moe.)  
Larry: Nyah-a-a-a-ah!  
Moe: What's the matter with you?  
Larry: A g-g-g-g... a g-g-g-g...  
(The gorilla sneezes.)  
Curly: Gesundheit.  
Moe: Wait a minute, who sneezed?  
Curly: (Turns around and points behind him.) He did... Whoah!  
(Moe turns around. His hair stands up.)  
Moe and Curly: Nyah-a-a-a-ah!  
(All Three run away. The Gorilla chases them.)  
Curly: Wub-b-b-b-b!  
(Meanwhile, in a room, a cage is hanging from the ceiling. Marik and Bakura  
are sitting in it.)  
Marik: I don't believe this is happening to me.  
Bakura: Yeah, it is kind of weird.  
Marik: (Grabs cage bars.) Gaaah! I finally get away from him and he gets me  
back! Why me?  
Bakura: You know more than you're letting on, don't you?  
Marik: (Now sheepish.) Yeah. The person behind all this is my old Yami.  
Bakura: You're kidding, right?  
Marik: Nope. I was just hanging out here and suddenly I heard someone  
laughing like a maniac. I went to check it out and there he was with a  
whole bunch of gorillas! He saw me and told the gorillas to grab me, but I  
ran and got away. I got outside and kept running. That's when I tried to  
get a ride and you guys picked me up.  
Bakura: (Grabs Marik around the neck and hugs him.) Oh Marik-chan! You must  
have been so scared!  
Marik: (Choking.) I'm more... scared of... suffocation... at this...  
point...  
Bakura: (Lets go.) Marik-chan, how come you always seem to hate it when I  
hug you?  
Marik: Bakura, we've been kidnapped and you want to talk about our  
relationship?  
Bakura: Nothing better to do.  
Marik: You are so strange. (Grabs cage bars again.) Why am I stuck in a  
cage with someone so weird? (One of the bars twists.) Whoah!  
Bakura: What is it?  
Marik: This bar is loose!  
Bakura: We can get out!  
(Bakura and Marik work on the bar until it's out of the frame. They see  
that they can jump down.)  
Marik: Jump!  
Bakura: But there's a gorilla right below us!  
Marik: Jump on its head, stupid!  
(Bakura jumps and lands directly on the gorilla's head, knocking it out.)  
Bakura: Come on Marik-chan! I'll catch you!  
(Marik jumps and lands in Bakura's arms.)  
Marik: Um, you can put me down now.  
Bakura: I never want to put you down!  
Marik: Now.  
Bakura: Oh, darn.  
(He puts Marik down. Suddenly another gorilla comes and grabs Marik.)  
Bakura: Marik-chan!  
Marik: Go, Bakura! Get the others!  
Bakura: No! I won't leave you!  
Gorilla: Hoohahoohahooha!  
Bakura: On second thought, I'll go get the others.  
(He runs away. Marik rolls his eyes as he is dragged off.)  
(Yami Marik and a gorilla enter a huge central room. The gorilla is holding  
Marik off the ground by his hood, his hands and feet bound.)  
Marik: Put me down!  
Yami Marik: Your friends should be here soon.  
Marik: Friends? You mean those morons I'm with?  
(Suddenly Curly runs through the room with a gorilla chasing him.)  
Curly: Wub-b-b-b-b!  
(He disappears through a door at the other end of the room. Moe comes  
through another door, a gorilla chasing him.)  
Moe: Nyah-a-a-a-ah!  
(He disappears through a door. Larry backs in from another door, and Joey  
backs in from another. They bump into each other, scream, and run through  
other doors. Moe comes from another door, Curly chasing him. Moe stops, and  
Curly runs into him.)  
Moe: Watch it, you lamebrain!  
Curly: What'd I do?  
(A gorilla comes up behind them.)  
Gorilla: You are both nincompoops.  
Moe: Did you call me a nincompoop?  
Curly: No, it must have been Larry.  
(They look around for Larry, and see the gorilla.)  
Curly and Moe: Whoah! Nyah-a-a-a-ah!  
(Triston runs through.)  
Triston: Woof! Woof woof!  
(Mokuba runs in after him.)  
Mokuba: Doggie! Come back! Here boy!  
(Mokuba, Triston, and Curly start running in the opposite direction, with a  
gorilla chasing them.)  
Yami Marik, Marik, and Gorilla: *sweatdrop*  
Marik: *Sigh* I'm doomed.  
Yami Marik: Yep. You are.  
(Yami Yugi, Ryou, and Tea walk into the room.)  
Yami Yugi: *gasp!* Yami Marik!  
Yami Marik: Bwahahaha! Fools! Did you honestly think I was gone for good?  
Tea: You've been practicing that line, haven't you?  
Yami Marik: Um...so?  
Ryou: *gasp!* Marik!  
Yami Marik: (Looks at Gorilla.) Psst! That's your cue to dramatically throw  
Marik to the floor!  
Gorilla: Oh yeah!  
(Throws Marik onto the floor.)  
Marik: Ow! Watch it!  
Gorilla: I'm just doing my job.  
Yami Yugi: Let him go!  
(Kaiba and a gorilla walk in.)  
Gorilla #1: If you consider combining your Queen's bishop and your King's  
knight, you might break through my gambit variation.  
Kaiba: Hmmm... I think I have an even better idea. Let's go finish our game  
and forget these nitwits.  
Gorilla #1: Oh, well, yes, I suppose I have nothing better to do.  
(They leave.)  
Yami Yugi, Tea, Ryou, and Yami Marik: *anime fallover*  
(Mokuba, Larry, Curly, Moe, and Joey all run into the room at the same time  
and crash into each other.)  
Yami Marik: Enough of this foolishness! Do you not see that I have your  
friend?  
Triston: (Comes running in.) Woof! Woof! Woof woof woof!  
(Yami Marik begins to steam.)  
Yami Yugi: Get to your point, Yami Marik!  
Yami Marik: I want the key! Give it to me or Marik will suffer!  
Yami Yugi: If you want the key, you'll have to go through me!  
Yami Marik: Fine! Then we shall duel! If you win, Marik goes free and I  
will go back to the Shadow Realm. If I win, however, the key is mine and so  
is Marik's life! I will duel with the one who has the key! So who has it?  
Curly: Key? You mean this thingamajig? Nyuk nyuk nyuk!  
Yami Marik: Yes!  
(A duel disk magically appears on Curly's arm.)  
Curly: Nyah-a-a-a-ah!  
Moe: Oh, not this duel stuff again!  
Larry: You don't talk in rhymes, do you?  
Moe: Well, Curly, we'll be behind you all the way.  
(Larry and Moe promptly get behind Curly and try to hide.)  
Yami Yugi: No! He is not a duelist! You will duel me in his place!  
Yami Marik: We shall have a tag-team duel, then! You and him against me and  
this gorilla!  
Gorilla #2: Well, of course, old chap! I'd be delighted!  
(A duel disk appears on his arm.)  
Gorilla #2: Splendid! This is a marvel!  
Yami Yugi: Let's duel!  
(Bakura runs in through a back door.)  
Bakura: Marik-chan!  
(Runs to Marik.)  
Bakura: Marik-chan, are you all right?  
Marik: (Eyebrow twitching.) I have been kidnapped by gorillas, put in a  
cage alone with you, and now I am tied up on the floor. NO I AM NOT ALL  
RIGHT!  
Bakura: *sniff* You don't have to be so mean about it.  
Marik: You ran away!  
Bakura: You told me to!  
Marik: It was a dramatic hero moment, Bakura! You weren't supposed to  
actually run!  
Everyone else: *sweatdrop*  
Yami Marik: Um...excuse me...  
Marik and Bakura: WHAT?  
Yami Marik: If you would kindly step away from the hostage, we have a duel  
to start.  
Bakura: Oh. Sorry.  
(Goes to the rest of the group.)  
Yami Marik: I will now send us to the Shadow Realm!  
Joey: I'd like ta send you ta the moon, ya psycho freak!  
Ryou: Joey, do not antagonize the enemy! He has the hostage!  
Marik: I have a name, you know.  
Ryou: I apologize.  
(Shadows begin to surround the group. It grows very cold in the room.)  
Tea: Brrrr! I forgot how cold this place was!  
(Slaps Joey.)  
Joey: Hey! What was that for?  
Tea: It's for not having a jacket for me!  
Joey: *sweatdrop*  
(All of the duel disks now read 2000 Life Points.)  
Yami Marik: I will go first! I play The Bistro Butcher in attack mode!  
Curly: Nyah-a-a-ah!  
Gorilla #2: I shall play next. I play this delightful Acrobat Monkey.  
Yami Yugi: I play Koumori Dragon! I also place this card face-down. Koumori  
Dragon, destroy Acrobat Monkey!  
(Koumori Dragon destroys Acrobat Monkey. Gorilla #2's Life Points go down  
to 1500.)  
Joey: Yo Curly! Your move, man!  
Curly: Soitanly! Nyuk nyuk nyuk!  
(Looks at his cards.)  
Curly: Ooo! Treasure! I'll put this down.  
(Puts down Man-Eating Treasure Chest.)  
Yami Yugi: Hm.  
Yami Marik: My move! I place this card face-down. Now, Bistro Butcher,  
destroy Man-Eating Treasure Chest!  
(Bistro Butcher destroys Curly's card. His Life Points drop to 1800. Curly  
groans and slaps his face repeatedly.)  
Yami Yugi: Don't worry! Trust in the heart of the cards!  
Curly: A heart? I don't see a heart.  
Yami Yugi: It is not something that you can see; it is something you can  
feel.  
Marik: Can we get on with this stupidity please?  
Yami Marik: (Kicks him.) Shut up.  
Marik: Ow! Watch where you put your foot!  
(Yami Marik continues to kick him.)  
Yami Yugi: Stop!  
Gorilla #2: Yes, for it is my move. I play the Awful Orangutan! Destroy  
Koumori Dragon, my pet!  
(Awful Orangutan destroys Koumori Dragon, and Yami Yugi's Life Points drop  
to 1900.)  
Yami Yugi: Hmmm. I play Commencement Dance, Ritual Summoning Performance of  
Sword! I now play Ookazi! It drops your Life Points by 800 points!  
(Yami Marik's Life Points drop to 1200.)  
Joey: Way ta go, Yuug!  
Tea: *gasp!*  
Joey: What's up with you, Tea?  
Tea: Joey... your hair...  
Joey: What about it? (Reaches up and feels it.) Hey...oh...what...hey!  
Tea: You've got Larry hair!  
Larry: Nyah-a-a-a-ah!  
Tea: Well, the better to grab you by. (Grabs Joey's hair.) Get over here.  
Joey: Hey, that smarts!  
Tea: No, this smarts! (Eye-pokes him.)  
Ryou: I am extremely embarrassed by this unusual and devastating event.  
Bakura: English translation, please.  
Ryou: This is stupid.  
Bakura: Thanks.  
Yami Yugi: And now, Performance of Sword, destroy the Bistro Butcher!  
(Performance of Sword destroys the Bistro Butcher, but Yami Marik's Life  
Points don't drop.)  
Yami Yugi: What?  
Yami Marik: Bwahahahaha! I reveal my face-down card, Enchanted Javelin! It  
increases my Life Points by your monster's Attack Points!  
(His Life Points rise to 3150.)  
Yami Yugi: Oh no!  
Marik: Oh no.  
Yami Marik: Now do you see that you will never defeat me and save Marik?  
You might as well hand over the key now!  
Marik: Don't do it, Yami!  
Yami Marik: Shut up.  
Yami Yugi: I will never give up as long as my friends are beside me!  
(Moe is pulling one side of Joey's hair and Tea is pulling the other.)  
Moe: It's my job!  
Tea: No it's my job!  
Moe: My job!  
Tea: Mine!  
Joey: AHHHHHHH!  
Yami Yugi, Ryou, Bakura, Marik: *sweatdrop*  
Curly: Hey! Now it's my toin! Nyuk nyuk nyuk! I'll play this thingamajig,  
the Rude Baker!  
Everybody else: What?  
Curly: Pie Attack!  
(The Rude Baker slams a pie into the face of the Awful Orangutan,  
destroying it. Another pie hits Gorilla #2 in the face, and he loses all  
his Life Points. He disappears to the Shadow Realm.)  
Gorilla #2: Hoohoohoohooo! I say, help!  
Yami Yugi: Oh, I guess that card had special abilities.  
Curly: Wub-b-b-b-b!  
Moe: Hey, Curly! You did good, kid!  
Larry: Yeah!  
(Rude Baker turns around and hits them both in the faces with pies,  
promptly followed by Joey and Tea getting pies. Ryou also gets a pie in the  
face.)  
Bakura: Hahahahaha... (Gets a pie in the face.)  
Marik: Somebody stop that thing! (Gets pie in the face.)  
Yami Marik: Bwahahahaha... (Pie in the face.)  
Curly: Nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk... (Pie. Groans and slaps his face  
repeatedly. Gets another pie. Licks it.) Hmmm, key lime!  
(A pie is coming for Joey. He ducks and it hits Tea. She turns to Joey.)  
Tea: This is all your fault! (Bonks him.)  
Yami Marik: I'll put an end to this. I shall summon a card with powers  
beyond your nightmares! I bring back my Gorilla, but he is changed. I  
summon the...Berserk Baboon?  
Yami Yugi: Hmmm...?  
Yami Marik: Hmmm...well, okay. Berserk Baboon, destroy the Rude Baker!  
(Rude Baker is destroyed. Curly's Life Points drop to 0.)  
Yami Marik: And this card has another nasty side effect... it sends the  
duelist straight to the Shadow Realm!  
Yami Yugi: No!  
Curly: Nyah-a-a-a-ah!  
(Disappears.)  
Larry: Hey, where'd Curly go?  
Moe: (Acting scared.) We gotta get Curly back!  
Yami Yugi: I am sorry, my friends. Curly has gone to the Shadow Realm, but  
we will get him back!  
Yami Marik: It seems this duel has become just between you and me, Yami  
Yugi.  
Yami Yugi: Hmmm. I place Ryu-Kishin, as well as Performance of Sword, in  
Defence Mode to defend my Life Points, and end my turn.  
Yami Marik: A desperate act! Berserk Baboon, destroy Performance of Sword!  
(Performance of Sword is destroyed.)  
Triston: (Eating leftover pie.) Woof! This is good chocolate!  
Joey and Larry: Hang in there, Yuug!  
(They look at each other funny.)  
Yami Yugi: Ah-ha! I play Spell-Binding Circle to trap your monster, and cut  
its Attack Points in half!  
(Berserk Baboon's Attack Points drop to 1600.)  
Yami Yugi: I now summon Dark Magician! Destroy his Berserk Baboon!  
Yami Marik: Not so fast! I play Remove Trap! My Berserk Baboon is now more  
powerful than your Dark Magician! Baboon, destroy it!  
(Dark Magician is destroyed, and Yami Yugi's Life Points drop to 1350.)  
Marik: Yugi!  
Yami Marik: Bwahahahaha! Your only hope is destroyed! Baboon, destroy his  
Ryu-Kishin!  
(Ryu-Kishin is destroyed. Yami Yugi falls to his knees.)  
Tea: Well, instead of my usual friendship speech, I just have to say, WOIK  
HAHDAH!  
Moe: Hey, that's my line!  
(They growl at each other. Yami Yugi gives them both dirty looks.)  
Yami Yugi: Well, I guess this means I should forget about the Heart of the  
Cards and go for their brain.  
Ryou: Yami Yugi, what in all the heavens are you talking about?  
Yami Yugi: Hmmm. I draw... Crazed Curly? Wow...that's powerful. I play it!  
(Curly appears, in Knight's Armor and riding a pink rabbit.)  
Curly: Wub-b-b-b-b!  
(He attacks Berserk Baboon and destroys it.)  
Yami Marik: What!?!  
(The Rabbit keeps bouncing around.)  
Curly: Hey! How do ya stop this thing! Whoah!  
( The Rabbit hops straight toward Yami Marik. Yami Marik throws up a Trap  
Card, and the Rabbit screeches to a halt. Curly flies over its head and  
lands on top of Yami Marik, knocking him out and dropping his Life Points  
to 0. He disappears into the Shadow Realm, and the Shadows dissipate.)  
Marik: Great, it's over. Now will somebody please untie me?  
Bakura: I will, Marik-chan!  
Marik: Oh, all right.  
(Curly returns to normal.)  
Curly: Hey, I wanted to keep my bunny!  
(Behind Yami Marik's now vacant spot is a door with a lock. Kaiba walks  
in.)  
Kaiba: What did I miss?  
Yami Yugi: All right, Kaiba, what is your reason for being here?  
Kaiba: (Looking sheepish.) Well, um, I came to find Mokuba a birthday  
present.  
Mokuba: Did you really, Big Brother?  
Kaiba: *sweatdrop* Well, at least I beat that stupid gorilla at chess.  
(Mai comes in.)  
Mai: No you didn't. I hit the gorilla over the head with a chair. You lost  
and he was going to charge you.  
Kaiba: Shut up.  
Bakura: Well, no one's gained anything today!  
Mai: Oh, well, I wouldn't say that.  
(Two gorillas come in, carrying tons of treasure.)  
Mai: Poker's fun.  
Bakura: *$$$*  
Mai: Mine. Back off.  
Moe: Well, it's been nice knowin' ya, but I bet that's the way outta here.  
Yami Yugi: Hmm. Yes.  
Tea: Um, say, Moe...  
Moe: What?  
(Tea kisses Moe on the cheek.)  
Moe: *blushes* Awww, shucks...  
Larry: Hey, dude, good job of being me.  
Joey: I want my hair back!  
Mai: I'll miss you, cutie.  
Curly: Why, soitanly, toots! Nyuk nyuk nyuk!  
(Moe puts the key in the lock and turns it. Larry opens the door, and  
music, Three Blind Mice, comes out. The Stooges walk through, and are gone.  
The last thing the Yu-Gi-Oh! Gang hears is...)  
Voice: Wub-b-b-b-b-b!  
Triston: (Turns back into himself.) Boy, I'm glad that's over. Who were  
those guys?  
Mai: Honey, those were Stooges.  
Tea: I do have one question, though.  
Marik: What's that?  
Tea: If I'm like Moe and Joey's like Larry, who's like Curly?  
(All turn and look at Yami Yugi as he says...)  
Yami Yugi: Wub-b-b-b-b-b-b! 


End file.
